Ok, so it's been almost 5 months now so I guess it's time I get back to the blog. I haven't had the desire to, but I'll try. So I can honestly say that ... Friday the 5th of February 2010 was the worst day of my life..... I know I shouldn't, but I keep replaying that day, those first hours, that phone call from my sister, over and over again in my head. And when I do that, I feel everything all over again, not as bad but it still brings back all those feelings of that day.
I don't know, maybe if I get it all out then maybe I'll get more sleep. So here goes.
So it was around 8am when I got the call from my sister. My Mom woke up and found my Dad on the floor in front of the TV. When my sister called me, she had just finished CPR on him but he was gone. I called Marvin home from work because I couldn't do anything. But eventually we got to the Hospital and was given a priesthood blessing by my parents bishopric. Which totally helped me throughout the rest of the day.
Ok...so in the Maori Culture when someone dies, we believe their spirit stays close to the body for several days. So in New Zealand we have what's called a Tangi. It's when we bring our loved one home or to a Maere (big meeting house) and stay with them for 3 days.So...My Dad is the only one that I know of to have a Tangi here in the US. So since he passed away on Friday, we had to wait till Monday to start his Tangi. It was so hard for us because they kept him over the weekend to find out what he died from. Which ended up to be complications with his heart from high blood pressure. It was a huge Shock. Anyway, we called a few people and the word spread fast. By the time we got home around lunchtime, we realized that we weren't the only ones hurting. Soooo many people loved him and were hurting along with us.
So Friday, Saturday and Sunday especially in the evenings were full of people bringing food and their love and support. Our Kapa Haka dance group 'Ko Ngati Hiona' were with us every
day. They helped us set up for the Tangi. See my Dad was basically the head of the New Zealand community here in Utah, and did soooo much for Hiona. So this left a huge whole in our group and they were so sad for loosing him in there lives. I am still blown away by how much they all did for us for that whole week.So Dad arrived Monday afternoon and the first Powhiti was performed to welcome him home. See the year before all this, my Dad remolded his garage into a big family room. Now we know it was meant to be for this purpose. We were able to fit around 150 people in there at a time. I felt bad that heaps of people couldn't fit in. But anyway that's when the Tangi began. Soon after that, Dad's Whanau (family) arrived from NZ. Sister's & spouses, cousins and several friends made it from NZ and Hawaii.So Monday through Wednesday people stopped by and gave their respects and love to us and Dad. Each evening at 7pm was held a more formal meeting in there. So basically it was six days of Powhiti's & people sharing their stories and experiences about our Koro (that's what my kids call him) & beautiful music and food. It was amazing how many people loved him. Not
only the big NZ community, but the Tongan's & the Samoan's came and gave their Koha (gifts) and showed their respect. But also the Native American's came and shared their beautiful music and spirit with us.After people came in to see us then they were sent around to the backyard to the Whare Kai (food house). Since it was winter/spring temperatures there was a large tent with heaters and heaps of food. It was amazing. Hiona ran the whole week so smoothly. From the Powhiti's & songs they sang all day, to the food and cleaning. They would show up before dawn to get breakfast started and stay all day cooking way after dark. Seriously...words can NOT describe the gratitude I feel for them, for all they did...and still do.
The reason why it was also the best week , is because of all the spiritual experiences. I felt our Saviors love so much and have never been soo close to the spirit before.
My Dad was there with us along with other Ancestor's. I've always know the basics when it comes to Tangi's, I've been to a few in NZ. But it wasn't until I went through it myself that I realized why we send them off this way. It gave us time to say our 'good byes' or 'see ya later's. It gave us time to grieve and cry with each other. From all the story's, we got to remember and get to know other sides of my Dad. We cried and laughed, and I know He was there just loving the fact that so many people were gathered together. That is what he always did. He gathered the New Zealand community here in Utah , and helped out with other cultures.
He truly loved people.
It was so funny, because during that week we found out that alot of people here and in NZ and Auzzie thought that they were his Best Friend. That just shows that he treats his friends like they were the Best.
So anyway the 6 days at the house we got around 200-400 people a day. Then at the Funeral service on the 7th day there was around 1200 in attendance. My Dad made an impact on alot of people lives. He mainly did that thought friendship and service. In my talk, I wanted to ask everyone to raise their Hand if they received any kind of service from him. I knew I would see every hand go up, but I totally forgot to do it when I was up there. But if you want to listen to the Service, I set up a blog just for him. inmemoryofdave.blogspot.com
Good thing we know Families are Forever, and that we will see him again. I have so much more I need to get out, but I'll wait for another entry.
